Lucie Chen
8/28/24 - 11/05/24
Dear Lucie, when you were in Mommy’s belly, we already knew you’d be a special girl. I started feeling your movements around 20 weeks—tiny bubbles popping inside me. The first day Daddy saw your ultrasound photo, he teared up. Lucie, you’re a baby that we’ve been looking forward to for a long time. We are so overjoyed to welcome you into this world.
On August 28, 2024, I woke up after a restless night; you had been moving so much. I spoke to you gently: “It’s okay, baby, just one more day. Get some sleep so you have the energy to come out.” You didn’t disappoint. In just 17 minutes, you entered this world with a loud, healthy cry. “Congratulations!” the doctor and nurses said. Despite all our preparation, I cried—tears of joy, relief, and excitement, but also a twinge of sadness. You were no longer part of me; you were beginning your own journey. I realized this is what motherhood feels like. Since you were considered IUGR and was born only 5 lbs 7 ozs, you had to pass many tests in order to go home with us without staying in the NICU. To everyone’s delight, you aced them all. Two days later, you were ready to come home.
I’m sorry I could not recall much of our life during that first week. Exhaustion from adrenaline gave way to pure fatigue. Your grandparents came all the way from China to meet you, their first grandchild. They were overjoyed, preparing a feast and holding you every chance they got. Daddy learned to feed and burp you, while I worked hard to produce breast milk. We introduced you to Pearly, our sweet cavapoo, who adored you immediately. She sniffed you endlessly and began watching over you as you slept. Your first outing, a week after birth, was a mix of joy and chaos; you loved the fresh air but hated your car seat. Daddy had to hold you half the time because you cried so much. Oh, Lucie, you already had such a strong personality!
On your 10th day, we celebrated with Daddy’s parents joining us. Everyone was fighting to hold you, the first grandchild of the entire family. Your grandpa, nervous but loving, became one of your favorite people. We had so much fun chatting about your birth experience, how brave and awesome you were. We dreamed of all the milestones we would celebrate: your first month, your 100 days, your first holiday season, your first trip to see pandas in China. Life felt full of endless possibilities.
By a few weeks old, you were exclusively on breast milk and growing rapidly—from the 1st percentile to the 7th in just a month. You were a little foodie, demanding milk with an urgency that left no room for delay. Your hunger fueled your growth and our joy. When you hit 30 days we had another big celebration. Your grandparents gifted you jewelry and blessings for a healthy, happy life. We started taking you outside more often, letting you feel the breeze and sunshine; meet Pearly’s friends at the park; hear the leaves rustle in the woods; and feel daddy’s warmth as he carries you during our walks. These moments were magical, Lucie.
By two months, you amazed us again, growing into the 14th percentile. You began responding to our voices, smiling intentionally, and filling our mornings with giggles. Your grandmother and I love spending time with you in the morning, it’s amazing to see you smile and interact with us as if you’re telling us all about your dreams last night. I still feel blessed to have shared those moments with you. Your grandparents competed for your attention, bragging about who got the most smiles. “Lucie smiled at me seven times today! I’m definitely her favorite.” “Look, Lucie smiled at me again!” Your joy was infectious, a gift to everyone around you.
You also gave us your share of challenges. Diaper changes were battles and bath time sometimes felt like a war zone. Some nights, you would only fall asleep if we held you close—especially in the early mornings, during Daddy’s shift from 4 to 7 a.m. But as soon as he placed you on his chest, you’d drift off peacefully, lulled by the sound of his heartbeat. Daddy was always so proud of that special bond. 'My baby loves sleeping right next to my heart,' he would say, beaming with pride.
On 10/17/2024, we celebrated your grandmother’s birthday with you in her arms. “Lucie is 50 days now! This is the best birthday ever!” she said. You were already a bit heavy at this point, but she held you tirelessly every day. Even when she hurt her back and almost could not move, she made sure to check on you multiple times daily. “I’m never tired when I see Lucie, she gives me strength,” she said. We went on hikes together, visited Wilson farm, took a walk at the esplanade, and went to see the view of Boston on top of prospect hill. “This is the place you were born in Lucie. I hope we build a beautiful life together.” I thought to myself.
At 2 months old, you were able to hold your head up for 10 seconds during tummy time. You had a strong grip and kicked so hard that it hurts sometimes. You started cooing “ahhh, ohhh”, your voice was so cute. Mommy and daddy would sing to you when you wake up from your naps and you loved our karaoke time. You learned to communicate really quickly. When you’re hungry, you’d used your little fist to knock on grandmother’s chest as if you’re saying “come on, come on, I want milk now,” a tiny gesture that showed your cleverness and determination. You were thriving, and we were so proud.
But on October 25, 2024, everything changed... We took you to your first vaccination appointment and hours after you developed a fever. We thought you were just reacting to the vaccines, but in just one day, your condition worsened and when we took you to the ER, you were diagnosed with meningitis. We could not have imagined that only 10 days later, we had to say goodbye to my most beautiful, precious daughter. I still can’t believe it…… Lucie, you’re the hope and light of our lives. You’ve brought unimaginable joy to our family in your brief time here. Mommy and daddy love you and will continue to love you more every day. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents. Although life is going to feel impossible going forward, we will try our best to live on so we can continue to love you, remember you, and honor you until we meet again.